Off Hours

Nothing like a 20 mile bike ride to process some junk in your head. A couple of thoughts came to mind, which are variants of common cliches. Yet cliches always have real strong truth behind them… that’s why they become popular and cliched.

Anyway, here’s what I chewed on…

Dreams

It seems like a few of my 101 Things I Want to Do in Life come true. It always amazes me when dreams come true, and I am grateful. Sometimes it seems like they will never happen, but surely with faith and action they do.

If you don’t work to make your dreams come true — even one faltering step after another — they will never be realized. So you can have all the faith you want, but there’s momentum has to occur. The path must be walked. Basically, you can believe in God, but Go’s not going to pick up the pen and write a check for you. Great things happen when we work for them, but we must work for them.

Relationships

Fight for them. It’s really hard to find someone to love. You have to do everything you can on your side of the street to make it work. If it doesn’t, that’s fine, but it’s important to be present, and be giving in a relationship.

I have to be able to look myself in the mirror when it’s all said and done. I can’t feel like I left something on the table or that I held back or let my ego stop me from being a good partner.

Loneliness

Not everyone can be with someone all of the time. And that’s good, because alone periods (just went through 7 months myself) are critical for personal growth.

Look, I don’t care what idealism or romanticism you believe in, but even in the deepest bliss of marriage, everyone is still alone. Companionship is so valued, and rightly so, but we all have our own identities and roads to trudge. That’s life, and so embracing periods of loneliness can be great for getting in touch with one’s self, learn lessons about prior periods of companionship, and realizing self direction and fulfillment. Is it any wonder I came up with the 101 Things while Caitlin was abroad?

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Ahhh, yes. The Fourth of July, always one of my favorite holidays.

It’s time for a long five day weekend. Caitlin and I are going to Nags Head, NC, our first trip to the Outer Banks. It’s going to be awesome with lots of bike riding and boogie boarding! I love outdoor beach sports. And of course, fireworks in OBX, too.

I asked some Twitter friends what their plans were for the fourth. See their responses below. What are you doing this super fun weekend?

Bonus mile! Nags Head photo by xamyxjayx!

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Several men on Twitter have asked me to detail how I lost almost 30 lbs in the past two months plus. I’ve moved from 243 to 214 lbs as of tonight.

There’s really no big secret. I exercise more and eat less.

First up, I’ve definitely exercise 5x a week if not more. On days I can’t bike (above photo above shows me three weeks ago and ten pounds heavier before 15 mile bike ride with intern Mike Nelson) or hit the gym, I make sure that I walk for an hour. That includes taking cell phone calls for a stroll.

On the food side I try to satiate hunger, not get full. That’s a big step for me, because I have an ambitious appetite. So I try not to clean the plate at the restaurant. I try to order smart, a.k.a. salad. If eat a sandwich, no desert or sides. I try to snack five times a day instead of eating three meals.

I don’t always succeed, and I let myself eat what I want albeit smaller portions. Frankly, I’m not into punishing myself for having pasta the morning before a 20 mile bike ride. Today I had a cupcake. Saturday night I had a slice of pizza.

That’s it, no big secret, just diligence.

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After much talk, here it is…

A satirical commentary of today’s social media and blogging subculture,
Parasocial: Life in Silicon Valley examines how fan Lori Silkun meets top-ranked linux blogger Paul Murphy. A pseudo Robert Scoble makes a cameo appearance in the third scene. Also available for comment on YouTube and Digg.

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There she blows!–there she blows! A hump like a snow-hill! It is Moby Dick, the evil Twitter whale!

. . . from hell’s heart I stab at thee [ye damn Twitter Whale]; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee.

All that most maddens and torments; all that stirs up the lees of things; all truth with malice in it; all that cracks the sinews and cakes the brain; all the subtle demonisms of life and thought; all evil, to crazy Geoff Livingston, were visibly personified, and made practically assailable in Moby Dick. He piled upon the whale’s white hump the sum of all the general rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart’s shell upon it.

Die, whale, die!

Inspired by Herman Melville’s Moby Dick. Image by Sonny Gill.

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Filming Parasocial was a blast. The actual shoot was great, and I got to see how your script gets adjusted to the physical scene’s limitations, as well as the actor and actress’s physical bodies and capabilities.

All in all, the actual script dialogue didn’t change much, but because Dwayne and Jodi (in picture below filming the bedroom scene) were pros they had an easier job communicating some of the physical actions in the movie, and the script got altered. In most cases, they were much subtler than the script.

I also got to support some of my colleagues, and serve as camera man, a boom mike person, a gaffer (see photo below setting up green screen) and a slate person. Very educational and helpful. All in all the AFI class has been highly valuable, and I’m thrilled I took it.

This weekend we’re editing, so I’m on the hunt for royalty free music to make this thing go to the next level. You’ll probably see the movie as Monday’s Buzz Bin post. We’re going to run an accompanying, yet unrelated interview next Thursday from Director Tom.

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Yeah, when your wife comes home after a prolonged abroad stay you better do some things to make sure your on her good side. It’s been seven months so it only made sense to think ahead, but these are good ideas even if it ha only been two weeks. Here’s what I’ve done:

1) Grocery splurge at Whole Paycheck. Yeah, empty fridge with condiments is a sure fire way to piss your wife off. $200 done.

2) Flowers. A basic, and somewhat obvious thing, but many men just don’t go the extra mile. Flowers matter, it’s a symbol, a statement of beauty and care.

3) Clean house: This best done by a professional. Thank you, Mrs. Lavender.

4) Laundry, including linens. Duh. You think your wife wants to use a dirty towel? Uh no.

5) Gift: Beyond flowers. Usually, a box of chocolates will do. Given the length of absence in this case, I splurged and got ostentatious with not one, but two little blue boxes at Tiffany’s. Yeah, that’s going to make me a hero.

No one can do everything right. But showing a little presence of mind in this kind of situation is always a good idea. And believe me, your spouse will notice.

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Those of you who actually read my personal blog, have probably noticed a certain absence of posts of late (image by C.B. Whittmore). That’s because in addition to my day job as CEO of Livingston Communications, I have been working on a film project called “Parasocial: Life in Silicon Valley.”

I am being taught by the AFI Workshop sereies (only certified courses on the east coast). It’s an exhausting, intense experience. Our teacher is Perry Schwartz, who is doing a fantastic job. Last week we wrote the screenplays. I’ve published mine below.

The screenplay is meant to be biting commentary on the micro pop culture we’ve created online.  This is the lighter side. Let us not forget the darker elements that occur in microfame like the Kathy Sierra threats, the stalker known as Brian Connolly/Amanda Chapel, and the horrific Valleywag culture that has arisen. Hopefully, this film will strike a chord and make people think.

We shoot it today, so wish me luck. I am sure I’ll learn a ton!

               PARASOCIAL: LIFE IN SILICON VALLEY

SCENE 1: INT. HOTEL HALLWAY - DAY

FADE IN:

LORI

                         Paul, Paul Murphy!

PAUL walking away from event turns around. He looks

               disheveled, a tad wild, horned rim glasses, obviously geeky.

PAUL

                         Yes, do I know you?

Beautiful twenty something woman rapidly catches up to him.

               LORI is demure, yet sultry. He is attracted to her.

LORI

                         No, I don't think so. I'm Lori

                         Silkun. I work at Wired.  I read

                         your blog every day. Like that post

                         you wrote on Opera 9.5's buggy

                         Fraud Protection? Wow!

PAUL

                         Oh, glad you liked it.

LORI

                             (smiling brilliantly at

                              him)

                         Well, yeah!

As PAUL moves to speak, he looks at his feet.  LORI shifts

               shawl or blouse to reveal more cleavage.

PAUL

                         Well, I was just leaving.  I don't

                         really enjoy these speaking gigs.

                         People want a piece of the fame.

                             (he notices her chest and

                              is mesmerized)

                         They really don't want to talk to

                         me. It can be disappointing.

LORI

                         Well, c'mon. What you said about

                         Linux developers not understanding

                         business rules was stellar!

PAUL

                             (still staring at chest,

                              grinning)

                         You're just saying that.

LORI waves her hand in front of PAUL's eyes to get his

               attention.  His eyes avert from her chest, and he laughs,

               realizing he was caught ogling her. She knows she has him,

               and puts her hands to her hips to continue flaunting her

               cleavage.

LORI

                         Come on. Let's go somewhere and

                         talk.

FADE OUT.

SCENE 2: INT. WOMAN'S BEDROOM - EVENING

FADE IN:

LORI with a T-shirt on, post sex, brushing her hair, smiling.

               PAUL is also half dressed, and looks a bit giddy.

               Infatuated, he is drunk with romance. He moves a bit closer

               to her to engage.

PAUL

                         That was great!

LORI

                         You're awesome.

PAUL

                         Say, maybe we can do something more

                         social together?  We just seem to

                         hook up randomly. Whaddya say?

LORI turns, nods and smiles broadly, giving him her approval.

               She then goes back to her hair.

PAUL

                         Cool Would you like to come with me

                         to the Stop Global Warming event on

                         Thursday night? There are some

                         great people there!

She visibly pauses, a little distracted, and slows down her

               brush strokes. The smile fades a notch or two.

LORI

                         I'd love to, but that's the same

                         day Robert Scoble is unveiling his

                         latest FastCompany.tv offering. I

                         have to go to the party!

PAUL

                         Aww, c'mon. Scoble? He's as common

                         as common gets in the Bay Area. You

                         had to have met him by now!

LORI

                         He's the number 30 blogger in the

                         world, Paul!

PAUL

                         So what? It doesn't matter how many

                         people read you. It's who and why.

                         I'd rather have my 600 than his

                         60,000.

She turns her back to him and rolls her eyes...

LORI

                         I know it's hard to become the

                         world's 18th ranked Linux blogger.

PAUL

                         It is! Wait, that's not it.

LORI

                         Look, I'll come another time.  But

                         this is Scoble.

PAUL

                         OK.

He's pissed. She sees it, gets up and touch his arm.

LORI

                         Why don't you come with me?

PAUL

                         (mercurial expression) Alright.

FADE OUT.

SCENE 3 - INT. LARGE ROOM FOR NETWORKING EVENT

FADE IN:

LORI & PAUL talking to each other by a wall. You can hear a

               room with a lot of people talking to each other. It sounds

               happy and busy. Lori sees someone across the room, and pushes

               her purse into Paul's unexpecting hands.

LORI

                         Hold this.

PAUL

                         Where are you going?

PAUL watches LORI walk off screen to where Robert Scoble's

               party is. Paul starts talking to himself, providing biased

               commentary as she starts fawning all over Scoble. Shot

               showing her partying it up. He expresses disbelief, shock,

               then disappointment. He knows Lori is in it for a bigger

               fish, a better blogger.

Lori walks back into the screen shot to return for her purse,

               smiling and waving at Scoble the whole way.

PAUL

                         You know he's married.

LORI

                         Nothing's happening. Don't be

                         jealous. Everyone is over there!

PAUL

                         I'm going to the Stop Global

                         Warming event.

LORI

                         Are you kidding me? C'mon, Paul. A

                         bunch of greenies? If you want to

                         be with me, you'll stay. I'll be

                         back soon.

PAUL

                         How long?

LORI

                         I don't know. Soon.

She leaves him to go back to Scoble and company.

PAUL

                         Goodbye, Lori. My blog is not big

                         enough for you. I guess we were

                         just meant to be Facebook Friends.

Paul walks away.

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Thank you to everyone who helped make this happen (photo by Josh Hallett).

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That’s my goal. About six weeks ago I weighed in at about 20 (approximately), one of the heaviest moments of my life. Yesterday I weighed in 222.

How did I do it? Eat less, exercise more, including regular bike rides on the Mt. Vernon Trail.

It’s been great to see my body respond to this. I thought I was too old and my metabolism had slowed too far. But increasing my book regimen, adding the Mt. Vernon Trail (22 miles today), and eating less has really paid off.

But I am not done. It’s my goal to get back down to 6′1″, 205 lbs by August 1. That was my weight when I started dating Caitlin. I was in really good shape then, though not my best ever.

I am going to Nags Head for the Fourth of July weekend, and August 1-3 is Lollapoolooza in Chicago. I’d like to be able to take my shirt off at the beach or the concert without shame. That’s a reasonable goal.

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